I’m so tired.

But sleeping is not the problem.

The problem is not enough time.

I can’t seem to get enough rest. Give me a couch and fifty minutes of free time and I am so there. The problem is I don’t have the fifty minutes.

Weekdays are bad. No nap time to be found.

Weekends are worse. I work weekends…20 hours on a good one. A bad one? Don’t go there. Then there is the  “Honey Do list.”

So I drag myself through life in a numb daze. Dimly aware of my surroundings. Grinding through the day.

In this I am not alone. Exhibit A: Energy drinks. There’s a bunch of them.

In a totally unscientific experiment I have been consuming a lot of the stuff.

My completely biased opinion: none of them do much.

I have been through the gamut.

Mt. Dew has the most caffeine of any soft drink. Down the hatch.

Amp Energy with all its incarnations like, Overdrive, Lightning and Elevator.

Monster including something called Khaos.

Rockstar, No Fear, NOS and of course Red Bull.  All consumed with gusto and great expectations.

I do like the taste of some of them. Others taste like I imagine Drano does.

But the problems with them are twofold:

They only give you energy for a short amount of time.

And, guess what? You build up a tolerance, so you have to drink more and more of the stuff.  This presents two more problems.

This stuff is not cheap. And increased use means increased time spent in the rest room, but not resting, if you get my drift.

So I moved up a notch on the energy drink scale, to Five/Six/Seven hour energy shots.  2 ounces of Drano. Again, not cheap. Rest room visits?  Who knows?

IWASSOHYPEDUPTHATINEVEREVENTHOUGHTABOUTTHATORREALLYABOUT…ANy…thing…until I crashed like the Hindenburg.

The high, for me, lasted about two hours and then the low was the lowest thing I have felt since Ozzy left the band.  Even repeated applications didn’t bring me back to anything near baseline normal.

I am working through the coffee spectrum of energy drinks now. The Starbucks brand and the Monster Java ones taste good but are just not giving me the desired effect.

I think the next stop is to reactivate my previous addiction. Multiple doses of strong, black coffee.

The grocery stores and the quickie-marts all have racks of these drinks and energy shots. Clearly I am not the only person lacking in energy. This is big business and billions of dollars are at stake here.

Something is sapping our collective spirit and draining our precious life essence.

I blame Al Gore and the internet. Gotta go now and rest. Both varieties if you care.