Does the phrase dirty old man mean anything to you?

Well it does to Elizabeth Krum, who will probably be embarrassed about her walk for the rest of her life.

But wait, we’ve moved too far. Let’s go back to the beginning.

There once was a governor of Maryland. William Donald Schaefer. As a side note what does it mean when a grown man uses three names? Anyway Old Bill, and he is old, 84 in fact, was the State comptroller in Maryland. (State Motto: Manly Deeds, Womanly words-I am not making that up) Bill was brought a nice cup of tea by Ms Krum, who is 24, recently at a statehouse meeting.

The old geezer stared at her like he had x-ray vision as she walked away. Then the octogenarian voyeur did the unthinkable. He called her back as she got to the door. Probably thinking the old fart needed some more sugar for his tea Ms Krum obliged.

When she returned he told her to walk again and once more fastened his peepers on her receding backside.

More than 100 people in the room saw Old Bills chauvinistic display and he got plenty of heat for it.

His response to reporters:

“That’s so Goddamn dumb I can’t believe it. She’s a pretty little girl. She ought to be damn happy I observed her going out the door. The day I stop looking at pretty women is the day I die,” he said.

He then pulled Ms Krum aside but and spoke to her privately but when he returned he told the reporters he did not apologize. “I’m the one who is offended,” he said.

Wild Bill Schaefer, who is expected to run for re-election this year, is well-known for his often outrageous public statements, particularly during his opening monologues of the twice-monthly public works meeting. He has ranted against McDonald’s employees who speak limited English and people with AIDS, and has long called the women with whom he works “little girls.”

I called Bill a dirty old man before. Maybe doddering old fool would be better?

In Maryland whose catch Phrase is “So many things to do, so close together”, the comptroller handles all the state funds. I’m thinking they ought to be checking out those expenditures on 50 gallon drums full of Viagra.

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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