Today’s Rant:Click here

Blog post for 1/25/11 – 6:01 AM – 18 degrees – A full 26 degrees warmer than yesterday. Spring one day closer

Three things I could write about today.

1. Measurement improves performance.

2. The fire in the grocery store dream.

3. Live TV.

One and three could become columns. Time to write will run short fairly quickly now that we are in a new school year. Decision made.

I have been around long enough to have seen some remarkable things on Live TV.

Some remarkably dumb things as well.

I saw Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald. I was ten. I was basically pretty pissed off that I was home from school and had freedom to watch as much TV as I wanted but there was not a single cartoon on. Then the famous prisoner transfer scene came on. I had no real clue that this was not a western movie or an episode of Dragnet. Until they played it over and over and talked a lot about it. I will never forget it. The look of pain on Oswald’s face.

Live TV showed me the news about Kennedy’s death. I saw Walter Cronkite take his glasses off and cry, announcing the “news flash, apparently official.” from Dallas Texas. It endeared Walter to me, bonded us in a way. Here was an adult, like my daddy. And he had lost his composure. And it was OK, even though big boys weren’t supposed to cry.

Later in life I saw Walter take off his glasses again. When man landed on the moon. He was also like a kid that day. I think he said “gee whiz,” or “Golly.” Walter was pretty cool, for an old guy with glasses.

I saw that moon landing live too. I was angry that time too. I was supposed to be going to Woodstock that summer. But I had mononucleosis. I was pretty sick. I watched the whole moon deal with a fever, my head feeling like two balloons. I was pretty sure I was hallucinating. It was the 60’s, after all.

I saw Janet Jackson’s tit on Live TV. At least I think I did. To this day I am not sure what that was. In my admittedly limited experience with the female mammary gland I have not seen any metal there. Either I have led a sheltered life or just haven’t looked hard enough.

Live TV is uncontrolled, uncensored, spontaneous. Anything can and does happen. Bono can say the F@#$ word. People can slip and fall. Streakers can streak.

Nowadays Live TV is supposed to be regulated with a delay. The dirty little secret is that often live events don’t run with a delay. Technically delays are pain in the ass. It’s a chore to get up and running with one, a chore to keep switching in and out and the person who is actually supposed to watch for stray boobs or F bombs usually has a whole dashboard of controls in front of him and a myriad of other tasks to perform. It’s easy to take your eye off the ball.

Now I am not privileged with the information about whether the Sunday AFC championship tilt was on a delay or not. I am going to take a wild guess and assume that it was. Modern NFL football is fairly controlled. Players get big fines for curse words. But emotions run high. Things can get out of hand. So the safe money is on the idea of the game being on a delay.

So I can only conjecture why they let Mark Sanchez do what he did on Live TV.

Just like when I saw Jack Ruby pull out his gun and do the little stiff choreography on Live TV I wasn’t sure that I saw what I saw. I turned to the long-suffering wife and asked her if she had noticed. She was not paying rapt attention to the game. She is an Eagles fan.

If you have just returned from the outer rim of the crab nebula and don’t know, Sanchez mined his nostrils, found gold and gave his teammate’s coat a little gift.

He picked his nose and wiped it on his buddy. On Live TV.

Why would Sanchez do such a juvenile, disgusting act? Why would it be shown on the TV? Why did his team-mate, Mark Brunell, pay it absolutely no attention, like having snot wiped on you is just part of the game?

These are questions for eternity.

Two things that I am grateful for.

1. Mr. Sanchez did not wipe his snot on Troy Polamalu’s hair. Mr. Polamalu’s do is insured for one million dollars after all.

2. Mr. Sanchez did not perform a “Dirty Sanchez” on Live TV. I have no idea what that is. That’s my story. I am sticking to it.

There. I have a column. I may tinker with the end. I know I can get away with “Dirty Sanchez” in the WEEKENDER. I am just not sure I want to.
It IS funny though.

It’s weather related. From 2007.

Today’s Rant:Click here

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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