Aggregate Saturday


Aggregate Saturday

There are just 4 weeks left in the Spring 2011 semester. Words alone cannot express my joy at this. It’s the usual human condition. By the end of the summer I will be ready (and so will my bank balance) to go back to school. Right now I am not sure I ever want to teach again.

My case of cabin fever is very bad this year. Yesterday was not even a very nice day and yet I really wanted to fall on my face on somebody’s new mowed lawn.

The goofy neighbor has two Jack Russel Terriers. If they continue to race around the Rising ranch and bark at me he won’t. No threat implied.

The long-suffering wife still shuts the door when she retires to the WC. We have been married for 27 years. There is nothing that could possibly come out of her that I haven’t seen. But that is the way she is. It’s actually very polite.

I managed the above statement rather well. Not a single mention of bodily excretion or even the word toilet. Or poop.

I miss Calvin and Hobbes. Every day.


I hate, commas.

“quotes” are not on my Christmas card list either.

And don’t get me started on single ‘quotation marks.’ There is no excuse for them. We must destroy them. We must incinerate them. Quote after quote. Punctuation mark after punctuation mark.

I have stopped heading these blog posts with the time, temperature, and weather update. It was depressing the shit out of me.

One of my bosses is in Palm Beach, South Florida. (89/71) The Formula One race we are covering is in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. (93/73)The NASCAR events this weekend are in Fort Worth, Texas. (91/70)

It snowed here yesterday.

The temperature in Kuala Lumpur has never gone below 63. Bahasa Malaysia—the national language of Kuala Lumpur doesn’t have a word for snow.

I made that up. But I bet they don’t.

Surprise! A previously unknown dark planet did not crash into the sun.

Surprise! The sun came up.

Surprise! The government didn’t shut down.

I watched a little (probably about five minutes) coverage of the shutdown that was on the “news” channels yesterday morning. One of them had a countdown clock -time remaining until shutdown. I swear I saw a news person rubbing their hands with glee.

I changed the channel and watched “The AbsentMinded Professor” for a while. Fred MacMurray (Prof. Ned Brainard) was explaining to his fiance, Nancy Olson (Betsy Carlisle) why he missed the wedding. Again. She was not amused. Then he made a car fly. It was the black and white version (the film, not the car) and the best part is the basketball game scene.

The movie charmed me when I was nine. Even more so now.
I also liked the sequel Son of Flubber. If I remember correctly I had some Flubber. Wish I had some now.

Robin Williams remake of Flubber was just awful.

But Robin is pretty funny if uneven. Drugs will do that. How else do you explain “Popeye?”

But to be fair and balanced here is one of the funniest bits he ever did. WARNING! He says the F Bomb many times!

Enough. Any bright ideas for a column out there? I thought not.


Turntable lore – that and more in the Rant D’Jour

Backwards masking is alive and well and living in your CD’s. Some of you may remember Vinyl…more


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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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