I am still plucking material from the writing courses I have taken at L.C.C.C.-this is from last semester and was the first assignment for my Feature Writing class. The Professor, who has now become a mentor and I dare say a friend, Ed Ackerman asked us to write something about ourselves. Pretty wide open assignment. Left unfinished.
It’s a blessing and a curse.
I notice things.
I have tried to stop but I can’t. So I go along my own bumbling way and see stuff. It can happen anywhere, any time. Maybe it’s because some of the places that I go are extremely uninspiring to me. How much excitement can I work up, after all, during a trip to K-Mart?
But so many things other than the shopping intrigue me. The people around me. Wardrobe malfunctions that make me wonder if mirrors do not work at the place they got dressed. The guy with the t-shirt that says, “If you don’t ride a Harley-you ain’t worth shit”.
But he’s wearing sandals. Can you really ride a motorcycle and wear sandals? Wait-they aren’t sandals. They are what we used to call flip-flops. He also is wearing shorts. Not recommended for Harley riding. Is this guy an impostor? A Harley riding wanna be?
See what just happened? I stopped my K-Mart shopping excursion to ponder this guy and his shirt. Why? Who cares? But it snags some synapses in my mind and takes it down the most unexpected path.
I’m thinking the shirt isn’t really his. He picked it up at the Salvation Army mostly because it was his size.
Then the way K-Mart displays the stuff they are selling catches my attention. I know that some stores employ scientific and psychological expertise to funnel people around the store. Merchandise is stacked and ordered in such a way to make it impossible to Not buy. K-mart, on the other hand must have people advising them to just throw stuff at the walls and see if it sticks What other possible explanation could there be for displaying adult diapers next to AMP energy drinks. Try as might I can’t make the connection.
The Rant D’Jour is a celebration of spring. Of sorts.
I guess that I am a country boy at heart. I have always loved… more