Yes, we have no bananas

I have been a professional columnist for quite a while now. Writing for the WEEKENDER once a week. I say professional in the sense that I get paid. I certainly don’t think of my self as particularly accomplished or anything. I sent my blog link to someone who publishes blog links from NEPA. http://nepablogs.blogspot.com/ There are a surprising number of us. She noted that I am an “Active Columnist” in the WEEKENDER, by which she meant I still write for them, not that I am active. If she only knew. Sometimes even breathing steady is more active than I like to be.

I look at all these other bloggers and I look at the columnists in “dead tree” publications and I wonder why I am not like them. They write about all kinds of serious stuff. Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets.

Me, I write about the price of bananas.

I love bananas. I eat them twice a day. I would even it I didn’t like them because bananas are very high in potassium.

In fact, 358 mg Potassium per banana or 8% of my daily requirement. Potassium prevents strokes and leg cramps.

So I eat ’em up. I like smaller ones. I have a smaller appetite now, although my waistline has yet to catch up to that fact.

Shopping for bananas is a crap shoot. If we buy them when they are too green I don’t enjoy them as much. They are hard and not so sweet. If we buy them already yellow then they go bad before I eat them. Nothing worse then a bad banana. Even Dr. Seuss agrees.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

So we try to buy a mix. But we always seem to run out. Since we only shop once a week it’s a dilemma. Not on the order of Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets. But serious enough to me.

So today we are out of bananas. This makes me sad. And I hope I don’t get a leg cramp or a stroke. I know some folks who have had strokes. It’s as serious as a heart attack, those strokes.

I went to the convenient-mart (Turkey Hill) this morning after my pretend exercise session at the local gym. The gym that has “Sorry out of order signs” on every other aerobic machine. A big sign by the front door that won’t open says they are real sorry about these broken machines. They are waiting on parts and boy a lot of good stuff is going to be happening soon. Rah.

At the convenient-mart (Turkey Hill) they had a big basket of bananas. Apples too. The sign above them said 69 cents.

I looked at it in disbelief. I asked the lady behind the counter if that was 69 cents each for a banana. She said “Yeah, or an apple, take your pick.”

I allowed as how I would eat the newspapers I was buying before I would pay 69 cents for a single banana.

Gerritys has them for 69 cents A POUND! http://www.gerritysdelivers.com/produce-bananas.html That’s about six to eight depending on the size. I like the small ones.

The woman took my dollar for the newspapers and made no further remark about bananas, apples, politics, environment. Crimes in the streets.


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The Rant D’Jour runs today in honor of the fact that we just had some sort of election here. Rah.

In 17 days I will do
something I have never done before. I wish I could say I will do it with a joyful heart. I wish I could I could say…Rant D’Jour

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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One Response to Yes, we have no bananas

  1. d.b. echo says:

    Thanks for the shout-out to NEPA Blogs! And before you think blogging about bananas is somehow irrelevant, allow me to direct you to the blog of Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman:

    http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/30/fruits-of-globalization/
    http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/no-sex-please-were-bananas/
    http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/29/yes-we-have-no-bananas/
    http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/10/google-needs-sex/ (Yes, this also involves bananas…no, not like that)

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