Yes, we have no bananas

I have been a professional columnist for quite a while now. Writing for the WEEKENDER once a week. I say professional in the sense that I get paid. I certainly don’t think of my self as particularly accomplished or anything. I sent my blog link to someone who publishes blog links from NEPA. There are a surprising number of us. She noted that I am an “Active Columnist” in the WEEKENDER, by which she meant I still write for them, not that I am active. If she only knew. Sometimes even breathing steady is more active than I like to be.

I look at all these other bloggers and I look at the columnists in “dead tree” publications and I wonder why I am not like them. They write about all kinds of serious stuff. Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets.

Me, I write about the price of bananas.

I love bananas. I eat them twice a day. I would even it I didn’t like them because bananas are very high in potassium.

In fact, 358 mg Potassium per banana or 8% of my daily requirement. Potassium prevents strokes and leg cramps.

So I eat ’em up. I like smaller ones. I have a smaller appetite now, although my waistline has yet to catch up to that fact.

Shopping for bananas is a crap shoot. If we buy them when they are too green I don’t enjoy them as much. They are hard and not so sweet. If we buy them already yellow then they go bad before I eat them. Nothing worse then a bad banana. Even Dr. Seuss agrees.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
You’re a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

So we try to buy a mix. But we always seem to run out. Since we only shop once a week it’s a dilemma. Not on the order of Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets. But serious enough to me.

So today we are out of bananas. This makes me sad. And I hope I don’t get a leg cramp or a stroke. I know some folks who have had strokes. It’s as serious as a heart attack, those strokes.

I went to the convenient-mart (Turkey Hill) this morning after my pretend exercise session at the local gym. The gym that has “Sorry out of order signs” on every other aerobic machine. A big sign by the front door that won’t open says they are real sorry about these broken machines. They are waiting on parts and boy a lot of good stuff is going to be happening soon. Rah.

At the convenient-mart (Turkey Hill) they had a big basket of bananas. Apples too. The sign above them said 69 cents.

I looked at it in disbelief. I asked the lady behind the counter if that was 69 cents each for a banana. She said “Yeah, or an apple, take your pick.”

I allowed as how I would eat the newspapers I was buying before I would pay 69 cents for a single banana.

Gerritys has them for 69 cents A POUND! That’s about six to eight depending on the size. I like the small ones.

The woman took my dollar for the newspapers and made no further remark about bananas, apples, politics, environment. Crimes in the streets.


The Rant D’Jour runs today in honor of the fact that we just had some sort of election here. Rah.

In 17 days I will do
something I have never done before. I wish I could say I will do it with a joyful heart. I wish I could I could say…Rant D’Jour


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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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