Weekender Column

Wednesday-when you see the column for the WEEKENDER:

I am a professional columnist. Professional in the sense that I get paid. I certainly don’t think of myself as particularly accomplished or anything. I sent my blog link to http://nepablogs.blogspot.com/ that publishes blog links from NEPA. The webmaster noted that I am an “active columnist” in the WEEKENDER, which means I still write for them, not that I am active. If they only knew. Sometimes even breathing steady is more active than I like to be.

I look at these other bloggers in wonder. They write about all kinds of serious stuff. Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets.

Me, I write about bananas. I love bananas. I eat them twice a day. I would even if I didn’t like them because bananas are very high in potassium, which prevents strokes and leg cramps.

So I eat ’em up. I like smaller ones. I have a smaller appetite now, although my waistline has yet to catch up to that fact.

Shopping for bananas is a crap shoot. Buy them when they are too green and they are hard and not so sweet. Buy them already yellow and they go bad before I eat them. Nothing worse than a bad banana.

So we try to buy a mix, but we always run out. Since we only shop once a week it’s a dilemma. Not on the order of Politics. Environment. Crimes in the streets. But serious enough to me.

Today we are out of bananas. This makes me sad. I hope I don’t get a leg cramp or a stroke. I know folks who have had strokes. They are as serious as a heart attack, those strokes.

I went to the convenient-mart this morning. They had a big basket of bananas. Apples too. The sign above them said 69 cents.

I looked at it in disbelief. I asked the lady behind the counter if that was 69 cents each for a banana. She said “Yeah, or an apple, take your pick.”

I allowed as how I would eat the newspapers I was buying before I would pay 69 cents for a single banana. Gerritys has them for 39 cents a POUND! That’s about six to eight depending on the size. I like the small ones.

The woman took my dollar for the newspapers and we made no further remark about bananas, apples, Politics, Environment. Crimes in the streets.

The Rant D’Jour is about butt wiping.

I don’t watch a great deal of commercial television. Oh I sit in front of the TV and enjoy movies on DVD…more


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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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