Bada Bing!

There has been a lot of talk and heat and light generated by the opening of a strip club in the area of the Wachovia arena.(ED NOTE: Written in 2006, before The Mohegan Sun got naming rights) The place doesn’t need my help in the publicity department. They are doing just fine in that regard. But I read the other day that the owners are somewhat disappointed in the number of customers thru the door. Well I think I may have a solution that will be win for all concerned.

We do have lots and lots of homeless and to put it nicely, disadvantaged folks in our downtown areas. Take a walk around downtown Wilkes-Barre someday if you need further information. My idea is a simple tax deduction. Get a small bus or even a few vans and load them up. Drive those guys who would just be taking up space on park benches to the Strip club, pay the nominal entrance fee and give them a few bucks for lap dances.

As I understand it it’s a BYOB club so the question of these guys getting drunk doesn’t come in play unless they have a bottle of Mad Dog or a can of sterno in their coat. Voila! A full club and a tidy little tax deduction for whoever buys into this plan. Think how happy the dancers will be to see they are making the lives of someone a little brighter.

I can see you have your doubts about this plan. Maybe the club owners, who are trying hard to project a “classy” image for the sleaze parlor, will have some problems with the hygiene of my proposed audience you are thinking. No problem! I read that new club has the largest shower stage in the area. A few bars of soap and everybody is happy.

It’s a big club so maybe a few more ideas to get customers in the door are needed. I have lots of ideas so the owners just need to contact me. Here’s another one. Why not have a “bring your wife night”? The little woman gets in for half price. Now that’s genius. The place will be packed in no time. Ask me about my plan to get lawyers in the door. It has to do with billable hours and it’s a surefire winner.

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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