Mal (L) ware

Whatever happened to good old customer service? You know, that old fashioned concept of the customer always being right? I guess in today’s marketplace there are so many customers with so much money that it doesn’t matter if you piss off some or most of them, right? Wrong. In today’s marketplace it’s more important than ever before to please the few customers who walk in than ever before.

If I was selling something at retail I would make my customer happy in hopes that they might come in again or more importantly tell an acquaintance about the wonderful service they got at my store.

Case in point. I walked the corridors of a local mall the other weekday. I realize that mid day, mid week might not be the busiest time to visit a mall. But this place was so empty it was spooky. You could have shot a cannon in any direction and not killed or even wounded a soul. Even the annoying people who try to smear hand cream on you were awol. It was beyond dead. It was in full rigor mortis. So it was with some bemusement that I waited five minutes before being waited on at my destination. My mission? To return a defective DVD.

I purchased “Avatar” and halfway through at the part where the blue girl was about to put the moves on the blue guy the picture began to smear and tear and then just froze. Nothing I tried worked. So there I am with my receipt in hand and the guy at the store finally finishes his cell phone call and listens to my story. “No” he said. “We just gotta email about this. You gotta update your firmwear on your player.”

“My player is only a few months old and I just did that update.” I replied.

And here is where the disconnect really begins. He said: “Are you sure?”

I opened my mouth to reply then shut it with an audible snap. This guy was questioning me? My honesty? Over a return/replacement transaction? Like it was money out of HIS pocket?  I just stood and looked at him.

Let’s see. I drove ten miles to the store, was going to drive ten miles back to make “sure” I had done the update then lather rinse and repeat? So round trip of forty miles plus the two hours out of life.  Why?

I held out the DVD and the receipt and kept my big mouth shut. He apparently got the message albeit with a bit more grumbling.  I got my replacement which works fine. Put bamboo slivers under my fingernails and set them on fire and I won’t ever return there.