Do what? To a Chicken?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at anything anymore. I guess my shock-o-meter by this time of my life should be pretty well disconnected. My “been there, done that, got the t-shirt” world weary attitude should protect me from anything like a delicate sensibility.

But I have to admit I was a little taken aback by the seven foot high sign at the gas station that sells subs and soup too. What’s that line from National Lampoons Vacation? Clark W. Griswold says “I’m so hungry I could eat a gas station sandwich?”

The sign reads something like “try our new Crispy Frickin’ Chicken Sandwich.” Excuse me? FRICKIN? Chicken? I get that Frickin’ and chicken rhyme but holy cow! I mean I know Doctor Evil said “Mini-me, fire the Frickin” laser” but that was in a R-rated movie. I know there is a band called “Frickin’ A” but somehow that seems different.

Now we are advertising a food item by using the word that, lets face it, is short for a slang word for, well you know what. I will admit it makes me laugh when I hear Peter Griffin say “Frickin’ Sweet” on Family Guy. And I don’t mind it when Todd Rundgren sings “I hate my Frickin” ISP”. But for some reason this bothers me.

A little on-line research shows that Frickin’ may have come from a guy named Henry Clay Frick, who is infamous for busting a union up in the 1890’s in Southwestern PA by having people murdered. So the theory is Frick became a dirty word and then morphed into Frickin’.

I don’t buy it. I guess I should count my blessings that I don’t live in Ohio where the restaurant chain called “Frickers” invites you to “End your Frickin’ week with us” and boasts menu items like Frickin’ chicken pizza, Frickin’ shrimp and even a big Frickin’ bologna and cheese sandwich for the Frickin’ kids. I am not making any of this up.

Let’s try a little test. Fill in the blank in the following phrase. Mother (blank). Try “Mother Fricken”. See what I mean? George Carlin has his list of the seven words you can’t say on radio or television. I know that Frickin’ is not among them. But I am having some trouble with the image that F@#$ing chicken puts in my mind.

I saw a picture once of a Hells Angel type guy “wearing” a cooked chicken and nothing else. I mean he was using the chicken in a way that some might call unnatural. So with all due apologies to the advertising genius that came up with the idea, I don’t want any of your mother Frickin’ chicken.