The conspiracy theories are all true.

Cars that run on water. Magic pills that cure disease. Diets that let you eat all you want of everything and lose weight.

Area 51 is crawling with aliens. The pyramids were built by aliens.

Aliens are running the world.

It’s all true. All of it. All of the so called crackpot theories all of the paranoid fantasies that we all thought were just a bunch of crack pots are all true. All of them.

Why do I say that? Because I just found out that the powers that be have been keeping us from a safer cigarette.

This much I know to be true. And I know this why?  Because I read it in the New York Times.

Seems there is this new filter that was developed by scientists that will do what a filter was supposed to do all along-get rid of the cancer causing stuff in butts and let only the nicotine through. The smokes supposedly taste the same, give you nicotine buzz like others but cut down on harmful stuff to a degree that might save bunches of lives.

Still not safe, but safer.

The problem. The moral dilemma for the scientists is if they advertise this breakthrough will people smoke more? Will people who quit start again? Will people who never smoked start because it’s safer?

One solution they have considered is to offer the filter free of charge to all cigarette makers…as long as they don’t advertise the fact.

But here is the kicker- this technology was first developed in 1971.

How many lives could have been saved? Who Knows? We never will.

See how convoluted and crazy this becomes?  You might start to see tons of controversy about this, pro or con.

I say might because the whole deal may just be swept under the rug. Along with the water engine, the magic diet pills and the aliens.