You do what? On a cow?

Milk: It does a body good.

I mean, think about it...

I must admit that I am not much of a milk drinker. I had a boss once who made reference to “Mother’s milk” but he was talking about Budweiser and that’s probably as close as I have gotten to a glass of milk in many many years. But I know it’s good for you. It’s loaded with calcium right? How do I know that? Because the Milk boys have spent 21 million buckaroos a year on ads for the last 20 years telling me so.

There is no doubt in my mind that if you “got milk” you “got calcium”.

Well the more things change, the more they…change. Calcium is no longer the big push for the milk honchos. Now they are pushing milk as steroids. More on that in a minute.

It seems that using calcium as marketing ploy has become passé.

Every thing has calcium now, including dry cereal, cheese whiz and even Lunchables Pizza, a box of stuff that includes a butterfingers candy bar which says it is an excellent source of calcium. Pretty soon you will get calcium by watching TV.

Or just breathing.

So the milk brain trust has landed on a new campaign that they think will put milk into every American mouth. Picture this: A newscast about a baseball player who was suspended after testing positive for a performance enhancing substance that helps rebuild muscles and maintain bone strength.

The substance? How did you guess? Moo juice!

There’s another ad which shows hidden camera style a pair of baseball players hiding in a locker room furtively pouring glasses of milk.

So let me get this straight. We have gone from Brooke Shields and Bart Simpson sporting a milk mustache to sports figures abusing steroids, but ha ha it’s only milk.

Riiiight.

As you know I keep track of the speed at which we are traveling on that slippery slope to the warm place.

We just picked up 10 miles per hour.

-30-

Go back to today’s Blog post for 2/13/11