Cell Hell

I know more about the guy sitting across from me at lunch the other day then I want to.

It happens more and more often lately. I will be having a pleasant lunch with a business associate or maybe even a friend. The restaurant is busy with a lunch time crowd but we can still chat and make ourselves understood.

Then it happens. The annoying cell phone ring from the next table.

Now I carry a cell phone every waking moment. I never know when and urgent need for my expertise (Jim, the toilet at the studio is overflowing) will be called upon. But I keep mine on vibrate. So if I choose to ignore it, no one else knows.

But everyone else has some tune. The ones that really annoy me are the half assed ring tones that are supposed to sound like popular songs. And why do they have to be so LOUD! A cell phone is usually on your person, right? So why have the gosh darn thing turned up to concert level decibels?

But that’s just the beginning. The guy’s phone begins to blast out “My Hump” at ear bleeding volume. He unclips it and stares at the screen to see who is calling. So let’s tally up what’s going on. He has decided to be rude to his luncheon companion by pulling out the phone. He is being inconsiderate to the rest of the world by assaulting our ears with the ring tone. And he is being rude to whoever is trying to call him because he is not answering until he decides they are important enough for him to talk to at that time.

He makes his choice. Disses his lunch buddy and takes the call. And proceeds to have the most inane conversation ever at the top of his lungs.

HELLO GEORGE! WHAT? OH NOTHING. JUST SAT DOWN TO EAT! YEAH? HAR HAR HAR! OH YOUR KIDDING! HOLY GOD! HAR HAR!

Now I am trying to continue my chat with my lunch companion but it’s not possible. I am trying not to listen to the conversation between this moron in the restaurant and George but it’s like trying not to think of the colors blue and white in State College.

Is there a device that you can point at cell phones and make them blow up?

Invent one and you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams.

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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