Mile High Club

The Airbus A380 is a big plane. How big? If it’s configured with all economy sized seats it can hold 853 people not counting the crew. We will never ever see one of these giants at the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Avoca international house of pancakes and Airport. That’s probably a good thing as a full Cessna load of passengers throws our local baggage claim into a tizzy. I can’t and don’t even want to picture what 800 people would do to it. But I digress.

The cool thing about the Airbus A380 is the innovative ways that the airlines have decided to use that space. Plans include relaxation areas, bars, duty-free shops, beauty salons, casinos, double beds, and gymnasiums. On a plane!

Last time I flew it took me several hours to be able to walk upright again. Singapore Airlines offers first-class suites on its A380, each with a full-sized bed, desk, and a big flat screen TV. Four of these suites are in the form of two “double” suites featuring a double bed.

And here’s where it gets interesting. You’ve heard about the “Mile high club”? Where consenting adults make whoopee while flying? I am told most of this occurs in the tiny restrooms and that boggles my mind. Those things are so small that you have to go outside to change your mind never mind make the beast with two backs.

Well now you could join the club in perfect comfort. Except the Staff and management of Singapore air says you can’t. Now first of all, the entire population of Singapore could fit into New York City twice. How they became proud owners of the biggest airplane in the world is beyond me. But now they set up this flying town with double beds and don’t expect people will want to do the nasty? Isn’t that a little bit on the absurd side?

One of the passengers who took the inaugural flight and paid the 15 thousand for the double bed suite explained it thusly: “So they’ll sell you a double bed, give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can’t do what comes naturally?” By the way the passenger in question is 76 years old. Gotta love rich old men with Viagra.

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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