Evel Knievel I am not

I blame my Brother-in-Law for my $437 motorcycle ride.

More on him and the ride in minute.

“Let’s go the car show” the long suffering wife said. I was ok with that. I like car shows. There’s something so American about our love affair with cars. I don’t know if they have car shows in other countries or not. But they can’t hold a candle to the one at Schiel’s family market in Parsons on a warm summer night.

There was a good sampling of all things motorized and it’s great to see the pride with which the owners display the polished chrome and immaculate interiors. Schiel’s even pitched in with cheaply priced snacks. A perfect way to spend a July Saturday. Until (cue the dramatic music) the motorcycle ride of doom.

My Brother-in-Law, Mickey is the proud owner of not one but two Harley Davidson motorcycles. I know less that nothing about them. Fat tails, or electric slides or something. All I know is that I have never had a ride even though I have had several promises. People who own Harley’s all know lots of other people who own Harleys. So when Mickey brought his bike to the car show, so did Bob. Bob said “want a ride?” In a flash I was helmeted and off we went.

Whee! A trip around Parsons proved Bob is a careful and safe driver of his Electro shock Harley or whatever it’s called. We rode around the neighborhood for a few minutes and headed back via the Cross Valley Expressway. And that’s when it happened.

Now I don’t want Bob to feel badly. He wasn’t exceeding posted speed limits. I think it was an errant gust of wind. In any case my glasses were whipped off my face quicker than a magic trick. “Lost my glasses” I shouted and Bob stopped the bike. I jogged back and found what was left of them in the road. My poor trifocals were crushed almost beyond recognition. The right lens was gone completely, probably still stuck on the tire of whatever vehicle flattened them. The frame was twisted like an Aunt Annie’s pretzel.

Now I am not exactly as blind as Mr. Magoo. But I do need my specs to drive so it was important if I was to get to work on Monday that I get new glasses on Sunday. The friendly mall Lenscrafters were up to the challenge. And also up to draining my wallet of $436. As Mickey chuckled when he found out “You could have had a helicopter ride for that much.”

You see why I blame Mickey?