It just blows. Really.

I am at a loss to explain this one.

This is off the entrance to the Wyoming Valley Mall that has the “Food Court” if you can call the crap served at those places food.

I examined it for a few minutes.

Without actually going inside I can ask the following questions:

1. Why? Other than the thrill of being in front of a big freaking fan what is the point? It’s not a real thrill ride. It just…blows.

2. How do they protect users against getting stuff in their eyes. I know I have lots of sand in the cuffs of my pants ( I don’t, but let us suppose I do) and I sure would hate that getting in my orifices.

3. Now that I think on it, how do they prevent someone from being malicious and dumping a pound or so of…kitty litter or Pizza sauce or ground glass on the floor of said gizmo and waiting for the next victim? Hmmm?

4.Two words: Marilyn Monroe. Although that could be interesting with the right subject and the appropriate attire.

5. Does it rain? What self-respecting hurricane doesn’t include rain?

6. How do they prevent multiple people from jamming themselves in the deal?

7. What if: A: It blows your contacts out? B: It destroys your glasses? C: It removes clothing? (I am thinking of bikini tops but you go where you want to here.)

8. How did they come up with the Idea?

9. Why not an Tsunami machine. Much more timely.

10. Or a Tornado machine. Even better.

I didn’t try it. I also hung around it for quite a while and didn’t see any else try it. I was going to ask someone to try it and I would pay (see 7, C, above) but there was Mall Security checking me out so I beat a hasty retreat.

I have to wonder, at $2 pop how much business it really does.

Main reason NOT to use the “Hurricane Machine” ?

Don’t be these guys:


The Rant D’Jour is about maps and places gone.

Ever lived in a place so small that it doesn’t appear on a map? The old joke is that the “you are now entering” and…more


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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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