He’s dead, Jim: You grab his Tri-corder, I’ll get his wallet.

I am a card carrying Star trek Geek. I have seen all Ten of the movies several times and I have watched every episode of every spin-off series. The spin-off series. and there were five in all, including the original series, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager and the last one and by far the least Star trek Enterprise which was based 150 years before the original show. It was pretty bad and the first episode involved a shower scene between the resident Vulcan (a she) and the captain of the enterprise. It was about as steamy as it gets and seemed…well wrong to me. I mean I lusted after Lt Uhura as much as any teenaged male but I never thought Kirk would hop in the shower with her. I digress.

The franchise has one more movie in production which I will for sure go to see but I have my doubts. I can’t imagine what’s left to do and anyway most of the original characters are either gone or going. William Shatner latest role on TV is on Boston Legal where he plays a lawyer with Alzheimer’s. It’s a long ways from “Beam me up Scotty.” But, as I started to tell you I am a true fan. I cried when Spock was apparently killed in the second movie. And I cheered when they saved the whale in number four. Yeah, I am a trekker. So it was with more than a little interest that I noticed the other day that nearly 4,000 props from all the Star trek productions are going to be auctioned off by Christies. The actual auction will take place at Christie’s in New York City, where the three-day sale will begin Oct. 5.

Highlights include a replica of Kirk’s chair from the original series — made for a 1996 episode of spinoff “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” — which has an estimated value of $12,000.

The auction also includes a gray uniform worn by Shatner, which is expected to fetch up to $6,000. I am thinking from having seen pictures of Shatner lately that he probably wouldn’t fit into either the chair or his old uniform but who am I to talk.

All of this of course got me to thinking. First of all wouldn’t it be the coolest thing ever to have the Chair that Picard sat in and said “Make it so!” about a thousand times. I could park it in the living room and bark out orders to my long-suffering wife. “Tea, earl grey hot” I would say. “Get it yourself” she would say.

And how great would it be to have a flagon of Romulan ale? Or a communicator that chirps when you open it and lets you talk with a push button to….wait a minute I just described the Nextel phone I use.

But we still don’t have a transporter do we.

ED NOTE: From August of 2006.