A little punchy

I had a sleepless night and the day wasn’t going according to plan so I was already on edge when the goof backed into the long suffering wife’s car.

Let me back up here. For years while I toiled at my former so called career I would have sleepless nights and learned to deal. But it’s been months since I tossed and turned like the other night. So that morning my nerves were already jangled. To add insult to injury I had put myself on a strict diet the week before and we all know what that does to your outlook on life.

So this Saturday morning while we made the rounds of yard sales I was in a foul, grey mood to say the least. Part of the problem is the mysterious issue of the “ghost sales.” That’s what we call the ones that are advertised in the paper but don’t happen. You find the house per the classified but no sale. What gives? Why bother? The only thing we can figure is that they are in cahoots with big oil and want us to waste gas. This particular morning we had already not found three ghost sales.

I was already annoyed when we parked behind a Jeep Cherokee at our first sale of the day. But I really do enjoy going to yard sales. Finding an occasional bargain makes it worthwhile and you are always meeting interesting folks. It’s cheap entertainment and something to do on a weekend morning. I nodded hello at a man who was just leaving and started to scan the items on tables in the front yard.

I don’t know why but I happened to glance over and watched in horror as the Jeep started to back into our car. Not just any car. My WIFE’S car, which she lavishes care on. “Wait hold it STOP” I yelled but the goof plowed into the nose of the car with a loud crunch. I ran in front of the jeep yelling “Don’t you drive off!”

The guy got out and went over with me to inspect the damage. As we bent over he said to me “I wasn’t going to leave.”

I looked at him and could feel the rage boil up in me. “How the hell would I know that?” I asked. “You were stupid enough to back into my car!”

“Well you were right on my bumper, I couldn’t see you,” he said.

Somewhere there is a man in Jeep Cherokee who has a guardian angel. It’s the only explanation I have for why I didn’t flatten his nose like he tried to do to the wife’s car.