There must a parallel universe where people who write letters to the editor live

I wonder what color the sky is there.

The other day a newspaper printed a letter from someone who we call Rick because that’s his name. Rick, who lives in Hanover Township was bitching because in his opinion as a deer hunter, “dere ain’t anuff does.”

Or what Rick really said was there aren’t any deer anymore.

Well Rick, I hate to be a disagreeable guy but I have to respectfully beg to differ. Join me on my travels around the Dallas area some time Rick, and I will show you so many deer you will be flabbergasted.

Ricks letter accuses the State Game Commission of mishandling the deer herd. Tell it to my shrubbery, Ricky . The thing is I don’t dislike deer, but when they are in my backyard munching on stuff I planted to make the hacienda look pretty I get a little perturbed.

And driving in the early morning hours is like playing dodge ball with Bambi and her extended family. The other day I had to stop while a herd, and I mean fewer than 20 but more than a dozen deer decided to cross the road in front of me. This is at spot less than a mile from a gas station, hoagie shop and a bank. And this is not a one time occurrence.

Back when I first moved here from New England I was amazed at seeing deer from my car, something we never did in Vermont. I would stop and watch the little critters in open mouthed wonder, squealing with excitement.

Now the only squeal I hear is from my brakes as I try not to catapult the creatures off my bumper.

Wait a minute, I think I have spotted Ricks problem.

In his letter he talks about hunting in the woods and coming home with no deer. Ricky, Ricky, Ricky I have solved your problem.

Just buy a new big expensive SUV. Drive it fast on any road in the Back Mountain and you will collect your deer pretty quickly, along with some expensive body work on the land yacht.

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About James Rising

A recovering radio addict wrestles with the written word.
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