James Rising

“Oh well a touch of grey, kinda suits you anyway.” -Grateful Dead

It’s appropriate that a song would lead me here. Because it was hearing a song the other day on the radio that made me wonder about why we alter our appearance. The song was pretty good but it had been turned into the audio equivalent of a three dollar whore with every studio effect in the book. With studio trickery you can now make almost anyone sound great or at least better. This song was drenched in reverb, colored up with auto tune and made almost laughably unlistenable in the process. The song which probably would have sounded pretty good naked was made hideous. It would have been better if it was left alone.

And that sort of is my point here. Why do we as a race want to always improve or at least change what mother nature gives us? I will deal just with male vanity here. I have been toying with the idea of getting my hair colored. No I don’t want to go blond, just get a little of the grey out. Maybe I will try to get a real job and I want to look, you know, Younger!

I read this article that said more and more men are starting to color their hair. So many in fact that a whole new line of products “Just for Men” has been devised. As a matter of fact it’s actually called “A Touch of Gray.” The idea being that men don’t want their hair to look dyed but just want to lose most of the grey, leaving just a bit of the look that some call wisdom. One brand of this disguise sold in mens hair salons (whatever happened to barbershops?) called “color camo” has increased its sales to nearly a million treatments a year in less than four years on the market. So I am not alone in this.

And I am sure the results will have to be better than the last time I tried a dye job where my hair turned traffic cone orange. I mean Bozo the clown was jealous. But now after hearing that song on the radio that sounded like it had fishnet stockings on I wonder if I want to mess with the whole deal. I earned all these grey hairs honestly. Although I would love to turn the clock back in some ways I wouldn’t want to lose all that experience for anything or anybody. Some call it “life”, which I am told takes a lifetime to learn how to live. The Deads’ song says “I will get by, I will survive.” I guess that says it all.

Sunday Wrap

That's a wrap

Monday 9/19

Rant D’Jour “Smoking or non-smoking?” A phrase that will soon be heard as often as “I need a new buggy whip.”

Blog Post You see this on a sign. If you are like me (and Lord knows I hope not) you think about it.

Tuesday 9/20

Rant D’Jour I often scan the classifieds. Looking for misspelled

Blog Post Tuesday Review: Phil Ochs: There But for Fortune

Wednesday 9/21

Rant D’Jour The last few nights have been a full moon.

Blog Post SPEED.com – Blake Feese Breaks Through

Thursday 9/22

Rant D’Jour I think we need to add another season to the calendar. This time right now to me is the “Taint” of the seasons.

Blog Post Radio DaZe: WHYN

Friday 9/23

Rant D’Jour Bloomsburg Fair Redux

Blog Post Last Supper, Texas Sytle

Saturday 9/24

Rant D’Jour The legend of the “Stink Bug”

Blog Post Aggregate Saturday

Aggregate Saturday

I am still very bummed out about no Bloomsburg Fair this year. Today would have been the first day and we have rarely missed a first day. Life goes on, I guess.
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Took my car to get inspected. 647$$$ later no sticker. It needed Tie rod ends, alignment, this that and that other thing. But it also needs some exhaust work which the guy at the place said there are no after market parts for. Total from the dealer where I will never go again would be $2000! SO…he suggests a muffler shop. I am exhausted just thinking about this. I think about Florida and other states where there is no inspection. I think about a lot of things.
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The back acres got cleared enough in a superhuman act of frenzied cutting and dragging so I could mow it with the rider. One tree left just a stump. If you have followed my act at all you know what’s coming. I ran over the stump the first time and escaped with no injury to the blade but I heard it hit.. Thought to myself, hmmmm…better mark that with a stick. Forgot completely about it on my loop and the next time around hit it square and bent the blade.
Long-suffering wife says “Didn’t you know it was there.” We have not spoken since.
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I have decided to juice. I will keep a separate blog post on my progress but this will not be promoted “socially”. So really, probably, no one will see it. Sort of like peeing in the dark. You know, a nice warm feeling but no one knows but me.
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Concurrently I am also giving up caffeine. By tomorrow at this time I will not be fit to live with.
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Went to gym this morning. Yes it is Saturday.
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Ok, that’s enough. I need to fix one of the audio projects I did last week. I only made small mistake. Mispronounced a word. It only appears 1,000 times in the copy. Sigh.

They are pretty scary looking. Sort of a cross between a spider and a cockroach. Way too many legs for me and the little bastards can even fly. Plus they have a self defense mechanism that gives them their name. I refer of course to the Halyomorpha halys better known to you and me as the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug.

Now we here at the Rising Ranch have had a few of these obnoxious critters over the years. The rule seems to be you see one, you see another, they travel in pairs. Not this year. We are infested with the bugs that stink. If you have never run into one of these useless insects that you cannot imagine the smell they give off when you bother them. It’s enough to gag a maggot. And it’s the kind of smell that, like a dead deer in the hot summer sun, just lingers in the back of your throat.

I did a little Googling on the nuisances. First of all homeland security must have been asleep the day they arrived from China, Japan, Korea or Taiwan we aren’t sure. They are not natives and are most certainly terrorists. They eat and spoil fruit crops. They also munch on flowers. They love to hang around houses because they seek shelter and warmth and will set up camp inside for the winter. For reasons unknown to entomologists they are increasing in numbers especially here in NEPA.

Even though they are scary looking they are pretty stupid and it’s not a hard task to catch them in a tissue. If you are gentle they don’t release the stink and can be sent to oblivion via the commode. But if you aren’t careful they will gas you and you will wish you were never born. Speaking of gas there is very little in the way of pesticides that discourage these menacing little bugs. It seems all you can do is try to prevent them from entering your house. As I sit here I count four on my window screen.

They sort of remind me of another pest that has taken up residence and is thriving in NEPA. These other bugs are different in that when you squeeze them they don’t stink. They squeal and cash drops out of them. I refer of course to the Luzerne County Judgeus Corruptus and their close relative the County Employeeus Theifter. Known also as the Handsinthetillus. From what I see in the news these also seem to be increasing in numbers. I wish we could flush them down the toilet, but they would probably thrive in cesspools. Not so different then what they are used to, if you ask me.

About the size of a bus

Damn thing weighs 13,000 lbs and is 35 feet long, 15 feet in diameter.

Chances are that it will fall in an ocean.

Further updates are expected 12, six and two hours before re-entry. The space agency anticipates that 26 potentially hazardous parts, weighing a total of 1170 pounds, could remain intact and hit the Earth. The debris will spread along an estimated 500-mile corridor of the Earth’s surface. Among the parts expected to survive the fiery re-entry are four titanium fuel tanks, four steel flywheel rims and an aluminium structure that alone weighs 348 lbs. Depending on their size and shape, the components will strike at speeds of between 55mph (90km/h) and 240mph (385km/h).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upper_Atmosphere_Research_Satellite

http://www.nasa.gov/rss/uars_update.xml

Lawrence Russell Brewer selected a large final meal but didn’t eat it.

Read more: http://www.kfdm.com/articles/meal-44877-final-inmates.html#ixzz1YluOyhMy

According to Texas Department of Criminal Justice spokeswoman Michelle Lyons, Brewer selected:

*Two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy with sliced onions

*A triple meat bacon cheeseburger with fixings on the side

*A cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapenos

*A large bowl of fried okra with ketchup

*One pound of barbecue with half a loaf of white bread

*Three fajitas with fixings

*A meat lovers pizza

*Three root beers

*One pint of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream

*A slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts

Brewer, a white supremacist gang member, was convicted of chaining James Byrd Jr. , 49, to the back of a pickup truck and dragging him to his death along a bumpy road in a case shocked the nation for its brutality.

Last meal requests by notable prisoners (According to Wikipedia):

This represents the items reported requested but does not, in all cases, represent what the prisoner actually received.

Adolf Eichmann declined a special meal, prefering a bottle of Carmel, a dry red Israeli wine. He drank about half of it.

Aileen Wuornos declined a special meal, but had a hamburger and other snack food from the prison’s canteen. Later, she drank a cup of coffee.

Allen Lee Davis: 350-pound “Tiny” Davis had one lobster tail, fried potatoes, a half-pound of fried shrimp, six ounces of fried clams, half a loaf of garlic bread, and 32 ounces of A&W root beer.

Andrey Chikatilo: porridge with a small piece of beef.

Ángel Nieves Díaz declined a special meal. He was served the regular prison meal for that day, but declined that as well.

Barton Kay Kirkham: Pizzas and ice cream, “because you get cheese, meat and everything in one meal. Not so much fuss.

Bruno Richard Hauptmann: Celery, olives, chicken, French fries, buttered peas, cherries, and a slice of cake.

Charles Peace: A breakfast consisting of eggs and a large amount of salty bacon.

Clarence Ray Allen: Buffalo steak, Kentucky Fried Chicken, sugar-free pecan pie and sugar-free black walnut ice cream.
Danny Rolling: Lobster tail, butterfly shrimp, baked potato, strawberry cheesecake, and sweet tea.

Dennis Wayne Bagwell: Medium rare steak with A1 Steak Sauce, fried chicken breasts and thighs, BBQ ribs, French fries, onion rings, bacon, scrambled eggs with onions, fried potatoes with onions, sliced tomatoes, salad with ranch dressing, two hamburgers, peach pie, milk, coffee, and iced tea with real sugar.

Desmond Keith Carter declined a special meal, but had two cheeseburgers, a steak sub, and two Cokes from the prison canteen, for which he paid $4.20 from his prison account.

Dobie Gillis Williams: Twelve candy bars and some ice cream.

Edward Hartman: A Greek salad, linguini with white clam sauce, cheese cake with cherry topping, garlic bread, and a Coke.

Eric Wrinkles: Prime rib, a “loaded” baked potato, pork chops with steak fries, rolls and two salads with ranch dressing, served three days before execution because Indiana State Prison found that condemned inmates tend to lose their appetite near the end.

Francis Crowley: Steak and onions, french fries, apple pie, ice cream and melted ice cream.

Gary Gilmore: A hamburger, hard-boiled eggs, a baked potato, a few cups of coffee, and three shots of contraband Jack Daniel’s whiskey.

Gary Lee Davis: Chocolate and vanilla ice cream cups, shared with the prison superintendent and a manager.

Gary Michael Heidnik had two slices of a cheese pizza and two cups of black coffee.

Gordon Fawcett Hambly, who suffered from indigestion, a lobster salad.

Henry Martinez Porter: Flour tortillas, T-bone steak, refried beans, tossed salad, jalapeño peppers, ice cream, and chocolate cake.

Ignacio Cuevas, perpetrator of the 1974 Huntsville Prison Siege – Chicken dumplings, steamed rice, sliced bread, black-eyes peas, and iced tea.

James Edward Smith requested a lump of dirt, which was denied. He settled for a small cup of yogurt.

Joan of Arc: Holy communion.

John Albert Taylor: Pizzas “with everything.”

John Allen Muhammad: Chicken with red sauce and several cakes.

John David Duty: A double cheeseburger with mayonnaise, a foot-long hot dog with cheese, mustard and extra onions, a cherry limeade, and a large banana shake.

John Wayne Gacy: A dozen deep-fried shrimp, a bucket of original recipe chicken from KFC, French fries, and a pound of strawberries.

Joseph Mitchell Parsons: Three Burger King Whoppers, two large orders of fries, a chocolate shake, chocolate chip ice cream, and a package of grape Hubba Bubba bubblegum, to be shared with his brother and a cousin.

Judd Gray: Chicken soup, chicken, mashed potatoes, celery, stuffed olives and ice cream.

Karl Eugene Chamberlain: A variety of fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese, lunch meat, deviled eggs, six fried cheese-stuffed jalapeños, a chef salad with ranch dressing, onion rings, french fries, a cheeseburger, two fried chicken breasts, barbecue pork rolls, an omelet, milk, and orange juice.

Karla Faye Tucker: Banana, peach, and garden salad with ranch dressing.

Keith Zettlemoyer: Two cheeseburgers, fries, chocolate pudding and chocolate milk.

Lawrence Russell Brewer: Two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy with sliced onions; a triple meat bacon cheeseburger with fixings on the side; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapenos; a large bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecue with half a loaf of white bread; three fajitas with fixings; a Meat Lovers pizza; three root beers; one pint of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream; and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts. Brewer’s request was granted, but he refused the meal when it arrived, prompting Texas to stop granting last meal requests to condemned inmates.

Lowell Lee Andrews: Two fried chickens with sides of mashed potatoes, green beans and Pie a la Mode.

Mark Dean Schwab: Fried eggs (over easy), bacon, sausage links, hash browns, buttered toast, and a quart of chocolate milk.

Martha Beck: Fried chicken, fried potatoes and salad.

Michael Bruce Ross (of Connecticut) declined a special meal, but dined on the regular prison meal of the day: turkey à la king with rice, mixed vegetables, white bread, fruit, and a beverage.

Murl Daniels: Orange juice, grape juice, fried chicken, fried oysters, chili, potatoes, Limburger cheese, bread and butter, vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, chocolate cake and coffee.

Perry Smith and Richard Hickock: Shrimp, French fries, garlic bread, ice cream, and strawberries with whipped cream.
Odell Barnes: “Justice, Equality, World Peace.”

Peter Kürten: Wiener schnitzel, fried potatoes and a bottle of white wine. He requested seconds and received it.
Philip Workman: He declined a special meal for himself, but he asked for a large vegetarian pizza to be given to a homeless person in Nashville, Tennessee. This request was denied by the prison, but carried out by others across the country.

Rainey Bethea: Fried chicken, pork chops, mashed potatoes, pickled cucumbers, cornbread, lemon pie, and ice cream.

Ricky Ray Rector: Steak, fried chicken, cherry Kool-Aid, and a pecan pie. He did not eat the pie because he said he was saving it for later.

Robert Alton Harris: A 21-piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, two large Domino’s Pizzas (no anchovies), ice cream, a bag of jelly beans, a six-pack of Pepsi, and a pack of Camel cigarettes.The pizza was actually from Tombstone Pizza, per the stipulation of Vernell Crittendon.

Robert Dale Conklin: Filet mignon wrapped in bacon, de-veined shrimp sauteed in garlic butter with lemon, a baked potato with butter, sour cream, chives, and real bacon bits, corn on the cob, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, French bread with butter, goat cheese, cantaloupe, apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream and an iced tea.

Ronald Clark O’Bryan’s last meal request consisted of a T-bone steak (medium to well done), french fries with ketchup, whole kernel corn, sweet peas, a lettuce and tomato salad with egg and French dressing, iced tea, sweetener, saltines, Boston cream pie, and rolls.

Ronnie Lee Gardner: Lobster tail, steak, apple pie, vanilla ice cream, 7-Up, and watching The Lord of the Rings film trilogy.

Ruth Snyder: Chicken Parmesan with alfredo pasta, ice cream, 2 milkshakes, and a 12-pack of grape soda.

Saddam Hussein: The Times states that “he refused their offers of cigarettes and a last meal of chicken.” Other sources state a variety of meal options.

Stephen Wayne Anderson: Two grilled cheese sandwiches, one pint of cottage cheese, a hominy/corn mixture, one piece of peach pie, one pint of chocolate chip ice cream, and radishes.

Stephen Woods: Two pounds of bacon, a large four-meat pizza, four fried chicken breasts, two drinks each of Mountain Dew, Pepsi, root beer and sweet tea, two pints of ice cream, five chicken fried steaks, two hamburgers with bacon, fries and a dozen garlic bread sticks with marinara on the side.

Ted Bundy declined a special meal, so he was given the traditional steak (medium-rare), eggs (over-easy), hash browns, toast, milk, coffee, juice, butter, and jelly.

Teresa Lewis: Two fried chicken breasts, sweet peas with butter, a Dr. Pepper and German chocolate cake for dessert.

Thomas J. Grasso two dozen steamed mussels, two dozen steamed clams, a double cheeseburger from Burger King, half-dozen barbequed spare ribs, two strawberry milkshakes, half a pumpkin pie with whipped cream with diced strawberries and a 16-ounce can of spaghetti with meatballs, served at room temperature. He later complained ““I did not get my SpaghettiOs, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”

Timothy McVeigh: Two pints of mint chocolate-chip ice cream.

Velma Barfield declined a special meal, having a bag of Cheez Doodles and a 12-ounce can of Coca-Cola instead.

Victor Feguer requested a single olive with the stone still in.

Wesley Baker: Breaded fish, pasta marinara, green beans, orange fruit punch, bread, and milk (this was what was on the prison menu that day).

William Bonin: Two pepperoni and sausage pizzas, three servings of chocolate ice cream, and three six-packs of Coca-Cola and Pepsi .

ED NOTE: This is from 2008. There will be, due to flooding from “Lee”, no 2011 Bloomsburg Fair. Bummer.

A trip to the Bloomsburg fair is like a harbinger of the inevitable slide into weather that doesn’t support the wearing of shorts here in NEPA. It’s almost impossible to contemplate that in a few short weeks we will be digging out hats, gloves, boots, sweaters and polar artic fleece undies. But for one all too brief shining week we can pretend it’s still summer. The 154th annual edition of the fair that draws close to half a million people is going on right now. Two things are missing from this years Bloomsburg fair. One important, one personal. More on that in a moment.

The fair is nothing if not efficient. You park in one of the immense lots and a tractor pulling trolleys transports you to the gate. A comparison to Disney World was made. Disney it’s not. The trolleys need a shot of WD-40-they squeak and squeal like girls at Jonas Bothers concert. And the operators of the tractors are in the dictionary under “Jackrabbit starts and stops.” The word lurch comes to mind and I don’t mean the Adams family. But a promenade around the grounds, stuffing your face at every corner soon makes up for the ride. Oh, the agriculture and 4H displays are great. But you go to the fair to stuff your face.

And that brings me to the two missing elements from this year’s gluttony fest.
Phil’s Cajun Kitchen has stopped selling Jambalaya. For the unitiated Cajun Jambalya is basically rice and whatever is in the kitchen. Sausage, chicken, onion, peppers, celery spices and hot sauce. MMM good. But, alas no more. For me this is like finding out there is no Santa and what’s this about the Easter Bunny? A bowl of Phil’s steaming concoction was the perfect breakfast at the fair. It was good for lunch and dinner too. RIP Jambalaya.

But the more important absence at the fair this year is somewhat more ominous. No bees. No nasty yellowjackets. On the surface this is a blessing. The winged uninvited guests made fair going uncomfortable at times, competing for sweet stuff. In years past a purchase of soda meant the possibility of getting stung or at least hazed by a squadron of the busy insects. But this year there were few if any buzzing around. Either this means the Bloomsburg fair has figured out a way to charge them and they can’t afford it or…colony collapse disorder, a mysterious disease killing off bees nationwide has hit our area. And that is a very scary thing indeed. Someone said, “No bees, No humans” and that’s about right. Without the pollination of bees, fruits and vegetables could disappear like Phil’s Jambalya.

I think we need to add another season to the calendar. This time right now to me is the “Taint” of the seasons. I suppose a little definition is in order here. The word “Taint” is generally used to describe something that isn’t one thing or another. I have heard it used mostly in anatomically oriented references but that’s as far as I will go with that one. Suffice to say the “Taint” is inbetween.

I suppose also that you could make a case for there being “Taints” each time the season changes but this time of year is the one I think best fits. It is the time between the best time of the year, Summer; glorious, hot, sticky, sensual Summer and Fall, when things start to head downhill for the Winter. I always find it a little hard to handle the fact that in a couple of months we will have gone from weather that supports the wearing of the most minimal of clothing and no shoes to a time of sweaters, heavy coats, boots, hats and gloves. But that is life in NEPA I guess. But for the next few weeks we are in between. It’s actually been hotter this September after Labor Day (it reached 89 on September 4th) than it was for the entire month of August. So it’s not any surprise that these days in the “Taint” can go from one extreme to another.

I can remember going to the Bloomsburg fair some years in shorts and T-shirts and other years bundled up in winter clothes. Bloomsburg fair week, by the way is towards the end of “Taint.” So when exactly does the “Taint” begin and end? The beginning is easy. The day after Labor Day signals the end of summer. This wisdom comes from anyone who has ever been a kid. Pools close, schools open, it’s not Summer anymore. It’s “Taint.”

But when does Fall officially start? A Google search on that will make your head spin. There is way too much time on way too many people’s hands on the internet. You can get almost any date you want for the start of Fall. My little moleskin calendar says 9/22 is the first day of Autumn. We will call that the official date for our purposes here, but in the hearts and minds of NEPA I am pretty sure Fall starts when, well, when the leaves begin to fall in sufficient enough quantity that rakes come out of hibernation and the sound of leaf blowers fills the air. That’s not a standard that you can set your watch by, obviously but it feels right to me.

There was never any doubt in Blake Feese’s mind that he would be a race car driver. His entry into the sport resulted from a bribe from his father.

“I was misbehaving in school,” said Feese, who this year is competing part-time in the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series, where he drives the No. 32 Turner Motorsports Chevrolet Silverado… Feese Breaks Through

The last few nights have been a full moon.

One night when it was clear I was up at 3 am and it was bright enough to read a newspaper with. So I grabbed a copy of the Times leader and perused the Police blotter.

The fact that people act crazier and there is more crime during a full moon is under some dispute. In spite of the word lunacy which comes from the Latin for Moon or Luna. Some psychologists say it’s a bunch of hooey. But ask any policeman or emergency room worker.

Back to the police blotter-in the past three days there have been over 60 reports printed. I don’t know if that’s more or less than normal but it seems like a lot.

Domestic disputes, stolen vehicles, vandalism all in incredible variety. A stolen kid’s bike, a ripped off basketball hoop, a license plate taken from a car, holiday decorations stolen from a car (what holiday?) Solar lights ripped off from a front yard. Someone even liberated two air conditioners from a fire hall. Now that takes intestinal fortitude.
And a bunch of people who had more than their share of John Barleycorn. A guy arrested for throwing food and a mattress into the street. A lady who was driving on the sidewalk. A woman who was found drinking a beer in public then gave police a fake name. A 32 year old gal arrested for exposing her breasts to passing motorists. At 9am.

Some things that are just plain sad. Someone broke into a place and stole an undetermined amount of hypodermic needles. You don’t need a psychologist to figure out where those will end up. A 2 year old thrown from a car into the road, then scooped up and put back in the car which drove off. Witnesses said the car was being driven recklessly. And a man who broke into a house was found inside the residence, not his own, cooking.

There are a thousand stories in the naked city under a full moon.

As Warren Zevon put it. Ahhh oooo!